DHOODGUY

                                                               My most anticipated day of the year was finally here . That was the day i wrote my ND final exams and to add the icing on the cake was the day i'm visiting my uncle in port-harcourt for a long festive holiday. A day before this golden day ,i had promised myself that i would come to the exams hall with my traveling bag fully prepared to embark on this fateful journey. This took my friends by surprise as it is not my style to travel immediately after exams. Well,life is full of surprises they say, and change is constant right? On this fateful day, i was proud to be among the first queue of persons who were through with the exams, as i submitted my scripts to the invigilator, i walked majestically with a warm smile on my face to the front of the hall where my traveling bag was glittering and safe. I hung my bag and off i went without even a goodbye  wave to my friends who were still writing. "After all i will call the

1. USE YOUR ACTIVE EMAIL AND PHONE NUMBER-These two portals are very essential as they are means of communication between you and the NYSC portal, do not use any person's email or number order than yours as messages would subsequently be sent to you through this means. If you don't own an email account try and open one,gmail is easier and most preferable. 2.DILIGENTLY CARRY OUT THE REGISTRATION PROCESS BY YOURSELF- Be actively involved in the registration process as vital information about you would be collected via form filling and it is expected that you apply some deligence during this process. Do not leave this process entirely for  someone else in order to ascertain spellings,accuracy and other typographical errors. 3.OFFICIAL SITES OF THE NYSC PORTALS-They include www.portal.nysc.gov.ng www.nysc.org.ng www.portal.nysc.org.ng 4.KEEP CHECKING YOUR EMAIL-Constant checking of your mail is essential as significant messages could be sent to you anytime. 5.DO NOT LAM

Welcome to Nigeria, the country I will gladly and proudly come back in my next life. If such a thing exists. If you’ve never been asked this question “are you not a Nigerian” Then it means you’ve not been not using the almighty formulae (the 9ja way). Trust me Nigerians have their way of doing everything on earth. So here are some funny words and phrases coined by Nigerians and believe me you these words are generally accepted and understood by Nigerians. *1* PARABULATE – This is our own way of saying contemplate abi? No offences but this word is far from existing in any dictionary on earth. *2*BADDEST- Funny enough this word is not a bad word instead it connotes good, excellence and genius. So instead of saying “guy you are a genius” we simply say “guy you be baddest”. *3*MONDAY-HAMMER- This is simply our own version of sledge hammer. *4*GO-SLOW- I keep wondering how hard it is to say “traffic jam” which happens to be the correct usage. *5*DIS-VIRGIN- Even the

1.HIGH EXPECTATIONS –Once you are living in pretense, chances are that people would expect too much from you whether positive or negative, and i bet you would lose either way. The simple truth is “you can’t give what you don’t have.” 2.THE BITTER TRUTH –Nothing is hidden under the sun, in little or no time people will come to the full awareness that you’ve been living in pretense and of course “the truth is always bitter.” 3.YOU COULD LOSE YOUR ORIGINALITY –Too much of everything is bad, if you persist in pretense for so long you are liable to forget who you are. Too bad, because that’s the worst thing that can ever happen to you.

DON'T LAUGH ALONE,DOWNLOAD AND SHARE